Fréa Renewing Roots Community Group

This blog series follows the journey of a survivor support group made up of men and women who were either born in or gave birth in Ireland’s Mother and Baby and County Home institutions and now live across the north of England. Some are first-generation survivors supporting their loved ones and trying to make sense of their own stories. We meet once a month across the north of England, creating a safe and welcoming space for connection, reflection, and sometimes just a good bit of craic.

The purpose of this series is to gently share the spirit of the group - the laughter, the moments of reflection, and the creative ways we’re supporting one another. We hope that by sharing some of this journey, others will feel less alone and might be encouraged to reach out, whether they’re seeking support for themselves or for someone they care about.

No personal stories or identifying details are shared without clear permission. The focus is on the collective experience and the power of coming together, after years - sometimes decades - of silence & isolation.

The First Steps

"I think only for this, I would be taking this to the grave."

Those words were spoken at our first meeting. They landed with weight, with meaning. And as we looked around the room, we saw quiet nods of understanding. Because in that moment, we all knew exactly what they meant.

For too long, survivors of Ireland’s Mother and Baby and County Home institutions have carried their stories alone. Some have never spoken about what happened to them. Others have spent years searching for answers, for recognition, for a place where they don’t have to explain.

Now, just a few months in, it’s clear that something special is happening.

We meet once a month, and already, the group has grown into something more than just a gathering - it’s subtly becoming a community.  From the Wirral to Yorkshire, people are making the journey, not just physically but emotionally, to be part of something that hasn’t existed before across the north of England.

The group is mixed gender, made up of both men and women, with some born in institutions and others who gave birth in them. One member was born in the early 1940s, while another gave birth in the late 1980s. Among us are also first-generation survivors - children of former residents - who were not born in an institution themselves but have spent years supporting their loved ones and trying to understand their own place in this history.

Despite different experiences, the common ground has been undeniable. Many have carried their stories in silence for decades. Some have never spoken about what happened to them before.  Others had shared snippets of their story but had never truly been heard.

And yet, for all the reflection, the sadness, the weight of what has been carried, these meetings have also been full of laughter, craic and connection.

At our last meet up, two group members were reminiscing about their early days in England, emigrating in the late 60s. They talked about the nights spent socialising, listening to the ‘old biddies’ tell stories and spin yarns. Then, catching each other’s eye, one of them smirked and said, "And sure we’re the old biddies now." The room erupted in laughter!!

It was a moment that captured the essence of this group - not just about the past, but about who we are now, how we live, and how we move forward.

Finding Ourselves

For some, even the simple act of coming out to these meetings has been a huge step:

“It’s just so good to be out. I don’t get out anymore, and this is just delightful.”

There’s something incredibly powerful about being in a space where you can talk about serious things one minute and be wiping away tears of laughter the next. 

For many, this isn’t just about revisiting the past - it’s about being present, here and now, with people who truly understand.  In our first few sessions, the group has started to explore creative approaches to connection, discussing ways that art, music, poetry, and writing might help express experiences that can be difficult to put into words.

At our next meeting, we’ll be integrating arts-based methods for the first time, starting with pottery making. The group has shown real enthusiasm for trying different creative outlets, and this will be an opportunity to see how these activities can add another layer to our shared experience.

For some, it may be a way to process emotions in a different form, while for others, it might simply be a chance to try something new and have a bit of fun.  Either way, we’re excited to see where it leads.

Building Trust

One of the key principles of this group is that it is led by the needs of those who attend. There’s no rigid structure, no pressure to share more than someone is comfortable with, and no obligation to participate in any particular way.  Some talk openly, while others prefer to listen. Both are equally valued.

Trust is something that has been broken too many times for too many people in this group. It’s not something that can be rebuilt overnight, but in these early meetings, there is a sense that trust is beginning to form - not just in the group itself, but in the idea that support is possible.

Looking Ahead

These first few months have reinforced what we already knew: survivors deserve more than just recognition - they deserve real, tangible support, and spaces where they can connect with others who truly understand.

As the group continues to develop, it will grow and evolve based on what feels right for those attending.  Right now, what’s clear is that this space matters - whether it’s for deep conversations, creative expression, a bit of craic, or simply the comfort of knowing that you’re not alone.

If you’re reading this and wondering whether this group is for you - whether you’d fit in, whether it’s the right time - just know this:  You’ll be met with warmth, understanding, and a drop of laughter. You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to explain. Just come as you are. We’ll be here.

See you next month for second edition to our blog series. 

If you’d like to learn more about the group or how to get involved, please get in touch.  You can reach us via email at renewingroots@frea.org.uk or call one of the team:

Patrick: 07432 138 682

Natalie: 07849 835 841

Ciaran: 07732 901 782